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Thursday, September 6, 2018

Blunt or truthful vs critical

blunt 


saying what you think without trying to be polite or caring about other people’s feelings:

blunt criticism


 https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/blunt


Romans 2:1-3 ESV Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

Matthew 7:1-5 ESV“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

 Philippians 2:13 ESV For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

1 John 2:15 ESV Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

  The world tells us that the truth is harsh and blunt. That it will attack you and make you feel bad. That isn't the Truth. The truth is, that when a person is trying to tell you something for your own good, out of love, it might hurt but their motives will shine through. So many people pride themselves on being blunt thinking that is the only way to be truthful. You can be honest and truthful with a person without being blunt.  Honesty will be appreciated, bluntness may just drive them away.

Romans 7:18 ESV For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.


Galatians 5:22-23 ESV But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

  Galatians 5:16 ESV But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

John 15:5 ESV I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.


Further study
 https://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2014/10/16/overcoming-a-critical-spirit/
Do you criticize and pass judgment on others? Do you find yourself with a negative disposition, always finding fault with something or someone? Is it difficult for you to see the positive in a person or a situation because the negative is so glaring in your eye? Are you compelled to give your critical point of view for the good of all mankind?
If you answered yes to one of these questions, then you have a critical spirit and you are in danger. Not getting hit-by-a-truck-kind-of-danger, but an even more serious kind—and that is spiritual danger. A critical spirit is from the dark side. It is meant to hurt and destroy its object.
A critical spirit is a negative attitude of the heart that seeks to condemn, tear down, and destroy with words. In contrast, constructive criticism involves opinions that are meant to build up. A critical spirit creates blind spots in a person’s heart and mind causing them to believe they are being constructive. In reality, it is characterized as the ungodly.

4 Types of Critical Spirits


1. Gossiper

A gossiper is one who reveals secrets going about as a talebearer or scandal-monger. She has privileged information about people and proceeds to reveal that information to others with sinful motives without their knowledge or approval. Gossipers attempt to make themselves significant to the hearer by appearing to be the source of all knowledge.
The Bible’s Perspective
1 Timothy 5:13—“At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention.”
Proverbs 11:13—“He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.”
Proverbs 20:19—“He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.”

2. Slanderer

A slanderer is a person who makes false statements in order to damage a person’s reputation. She does not care about the truth or correcting an error. A slanderer creates error in order to inflict harm.
The Bible’s Perspective
Proverbs 10:18—“He who conceals hatred has lying lips, and he who spreads slander is a fool.”
Proverbs 16:28—“A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends.”
1 Peter 2:1—“Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.”

3. Judgmentalism

A judgmental person has an excessively critical point of view, characterized by a tendency to judge harshly. She lacks empathy for others’ viewpoint because she believes her point of view is the right one. She believes she has the ability to know others’ motives. She has the amazing skill to point out others’ mistakes while minimizing her own.
The Bible’s Perspective
Matthew 7:1-2—“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.”
James 2:13—“For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.”

4. Complainer

A complainer is a person who is habitually negative about others and circumstances of life. They are characterized by discontentment and ingratitude.
The Bible’s Perspective
James 5:9—“Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door.”
Philippians 2:14—“Do all things without grumbling or disputing.”

The Motives Behind a Critical Spirit

A critical spirit comes from within the heart of a person. Mark 7 tells us that sins such as evil thoughts, coveting, deceit, envy, and slander proceed from within a person. There are several factors that contribute to the development of a critical spirit.

1. Self-Factor

This includes jealousy or envy, vengeance, anger, hatred, and holding grudges for the purpose of personal gain by destroying the other person.

2. Fear-Factor

This involves feeling threatened by someone or feeling anxiety toward someone which produces a critical spirit as a way of self-protection.

3. Control-Factor

This is feeling out of control and using manipulation and shaming someone in order to gain control.

The Effects of a Critical Spirit

The effects of a critical spirit are damaging. In Matthew 22:37 and 39, God commands us to love Him with all of our hearts, with all our minds, and with all our souls and to love our neighbor as we already love ourselves. Harboring a critical disposition closes off our hearts, minds, and souls to loving God in any way. Our fellowship with the Lord is hindered. We will stop spending time with Him in reading the Bible and praying. We will avoid seeking wisdom from the Lord. As a result, our spiritual life will be put on the shelf.
A critical spirit displeases God and causes Him to judge that sin. Luke 6:37 says, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.” God warns us in Matthew 7:2 that we will be judged the same way we judge others.
A critical spirit in action is the opposite of loving your neighbor as yourself. Relationships are broken when there’s gossip, slander, judgment, and slander. When we are critical toward others, we put ourselves in an authoritative position over them. This isolates a critical person from fellowship with others. People tend to separate themselves from harsh and critical authority.

Overcoming a Critical Spirit

Overcoming a critical spirit can be difficult because it develops into a life-dominating sin. It becomes a way of life. The way to rid ourselves of a critical heart is to put on love instead of hate, to build up instead of tearing down and to give grace instead of grief.

Love Instead of Hate

As stated before, God commands us to love Him and to love others. The simplest way to view this is to stop feeding the flesh and start feeding the spirit. The Bible is chalked full of all things we are to put off and all things we are to put on. 1 Peter 2 tells us to put off malice, envy, and slander and to pursue the pure milk of the word. We are to stop returning evil for evil or insult for insult but to give a blessing instead (1 Peter 3:9).

Building Up Instead of Tearing Down

A critical spirit naturally tears down, but as believers, we are called to edify others. In Romans, the apostle Paul instructs us on how to build up others. We are to focus on pleasing our neighbor (15:2) and pursuing things which make for peace (14:19). A person with a critical spirit must be renewed in the spirit of her mind as she seeks to do all things for edification (1 Corinthians 14:26).

Giving Grace Instead of Giving Grief

As believers, our words and our lives are to reflect God’s grace. We are to give grace to others instead of the grief that comes from a critical spirit. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment so that it will give grace to those who hear.”
Our words are to be encouraging, uplifting and instructive even when it is corrective. We are to be “kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).
Christians have no business possessing a critical spirit. We have not been given authority over the hearts of others. We know we have overcome a critical spirit when we are characterized by a forgiving spirit because we have been forgiven by God.

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